she kept yelling 'call me bella'
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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