I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
