I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
