I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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