I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
