Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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