I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
