he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just found puke in my bra..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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