Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
