i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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