I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
