Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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