similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
