My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
