He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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