ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
