yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
