We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
