One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
