Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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