you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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