I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
