is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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