One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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