I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
