I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
