i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
