I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize