Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
