yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
