We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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