Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Small penises have feelings too.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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