rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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