the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need a burrito and a hug.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
