I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
