Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
