I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
