I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
