you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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