nut hugger
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize