Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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