Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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