dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
