she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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