Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize