Already got asked if we're dating
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
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I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
True strength comes from lack of pants
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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