At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize