this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The best revenge is premature balding
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
