How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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