I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
