You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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