Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Randomize
