Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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