I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize