we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
