maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
