It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
