i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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