Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
