I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sober January is a disaster.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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