I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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